I had a problem saying NO, what happened after was…

The number of people in your life, if you think of it, your office mates, workmates, friends, family, boyfriend, classmates, so many! Plus those people  you  meet along the way is the number of the persons who will be needing something from you. Everyone’s born to be naturally needy for something.

Unfortunately, when a person asks me a favor, I can’t say no. I have a huge problem when people ask me to do something for them because most likely I will say yes because I’m good at compromising to make things more convenient to them but then I realized how much time and effort I’ve been wasting and how many people and jobs I’ve been losing and how shitty I’ve turned my reputation into and the worst, I wasn’t considered helping at all. 

Every year, there’s this big event on the beach, originally me and my girlfriends promised last year that this year’s event, we won’t accept any jobs but as soon as the month started approaching, suddenly I found myself committed to a job I promised I will never do again. So I started a dillema on how I’m gonna spend my time with my job and at the same time with my friends? I wanted to be with them without any call times to meet the next day, so it was such a stress. I did the job for 3 days and for the last day I felt jealous seeing my friends around free while I there I was, working for a job I knew was too much for me. I was missing the most important parts of my vacation, breaking my promises, and friends ended up compromising for me. I was sensitive and can erupt anytime while at work. I asked my bestfriend if she thinks it’s alright to quit, so we can spend time together , she said,  “then QUIT”. Never in my wildest dream I have thought of putting people into situations like that, but then I realized I’ve been neglecting the more important people in my life because of overthinking things and being kind all the time. I’m supposed to be spending quality time with her and keep my promises. I have to set my priorities straight. Who’s more important, which is more important? It was tough to quit my job for that day since my agent was just in front trying to convince me to do it for the last time for him. But I didn’t want to, I can’t. I knew if I said yes, I would end up regretting the whole night but eventually I did say “NO, I’m Sorry, I can’t” and to be honest, I’ve never felt so good. I didn’t expect saying NO can actually give me that kind of high. Finally, my chest got lighter, I was happy with my choice.

 
Being unable to tell what you really feel and depend answers according to what’s better for other people, some thought it’s very kind but what happens after, people think it’s irresponsible as I wasn’t always able to fulfill my obligations for all those people I promised to do things with. 

Either way I cannot please everyone you see? There are so much people I meet who will need something from me, in the end, I can only perform half well. Those years of sacrificing my happiness and adjusting for people worth nothing since no matter how much effort I will put into things, not everyone will be satisfied.— I have my wants, my needs, they have theirs. It’s either I’ll choose to compromise my own for them or to be selfish.

Now, I’m writing this because I always find myself being caught in the feeling of doing things against my will, always out of considerations, in return, my body and mind gets affected because I no longer have time to feed my own soul. I know that I’m not the only one who have problems like this, so maybe in sharing my experience I am able to help. I’ll give you an idea what’s going to happen every time you say yes because you consider everything too much. 

First, You will end up being abused by people and they will treat you like their puppy. 

And you will end up regretting why you even said yes to such shitty job or anything you know you’re not supposed to be part of.

Aside from that, they are confident to give you anything unspecial since they know you’re not picky and you’re okay with whatever. 

You will get busy doing favors for them until you lose time to do the things that can bring you closer to your dreams. 

Eventually you will drain your mind and energy and unable to feed your soul and as a result, you are unable to perform you duties and obligations well. Sometimes instead of gaining something, you lose your job but also their trust.

Your relationship with more important people will get affected since you committed most of your time pleasing everyone and yes, after finishing the task, you’re still gonna have to worry about pleasing yourself wether you liked your choices.

You will become unreliable as you will fail to attend some events on time or not being able to attend at all because of schedule conflicts. 

You won’t gain respect, instead you lose it since you’re always okay with whatever task those suckers will give you.

Your dreams will falter while you grow theirs. 

Most importantly, you lose yourself. 

There’s only one person you need to please, and it’s you. Whatever you do, it won’t matter if anyone like or hate it as long as you are happy with it and you do it for yourself. You cannot please everyone, but to please yourself, that’s more possible. If you lose everything, who will care? Do they? The truth is, they can only worry for you but they won’t care, they won’t do anything about it. In fact, those people who truly love and care about you will love you more when you started looking after yourself before anyone around you. 

Be honest with your feelings, no one would ever hate people who tells the truth, if they would, you still gain respect from telling the truth. 

So when someone asked me to do something for them again, I’d take a deep breath, feel my heart if it’s fully fine with it, when I have a doubt inside and I feel heavy in my chest. Just turn down the offer and be honest. In that way, I will do only what I’m willing to do,and feel more passionate about it, and only the right people will stay.

Goodluck on yours, I hope I helped. Feel free to follow my instagram blog @jillybully and leave you feedback on this topic, also suggest me any topic.

The gypsy thought.

Walking in an endless direction, being just fine with no destination. Just keep walking like you know where you are heading even your thoughts, you have no idea that it might lead you to an empty dead end. Who cares? Everyone’s gonna meet their dead ends anyway? Everyone’s going to face the dead end. That’s the truth. The journey to everywhere you’re heading through is more important than wherever the destination.

(null)

Freedom. Everyone are thirsty about this. Who doesn’t wanna be free? The freedom from money, the freedom to do whatever one wants, the freedom to be what you want to be, the freedom to be who ever you want to be. That’s human. Freedom is what give us strength to do what we want. It’s an excuse we use to take unbeaten paths. The excuse we use to do things that are against the grain. The excuse we use to play unheard songs, we want to be free and different. Why do we want to be different? Because it makes a history. The society will remember people who took the less travelled road. The society will remember people who didn’t behave well. The people who walk against them. That’s the irony and truth about life, people will start judging and hating you for taking an unusual step but then in the end they will start to accept your difference and praise you and remember you as if they’ve been with you from the start. They will act like they never judged you and pretend that they have been praising your state of being. the way you have been and the way you have been treating life. They thought it’s crazy, but in the end they will embrace it. That’s the truth about society, they only suck you when they know there’s blood to suck in.

 

The truth is, no one will accompany you in a cold narrow road, they will throw you ice balls, take your blanket, blow you wind to  make it colder and more difficult to pass. People are genuinely ambitious but that’s all they’ve got, ambition, and when finally someone took the step to make that ambition come true, they get jealous, they will pull you down, do anything to pull you back where you are supposed to be.

Don’t be scared to take that road you have been dreaming of taking yourself into. One day, they will see you on  the top and wish they could be you, one day they will kneel down and praise you like they have never treated you like the math under their feet. Just walk, take the step, don’t listen to these cowards. They have dreams but never had the courage to live it and make it happen. If you have the guts to go against the grain, do it, fight for your dreams. You deserve to have a beer with those people on the top of the mountain.

WHY DOES YOUR PARTNER NEVER POSTED YOUR PHOTOS TOGETHER?

We don’t have to tell the world we’re in-love or whatever we are feeling for each other. The most important thing is that we know we love each other and I trust him.’ —That’s right…but wether we like it or not, we are now living in an Internet era where most people spend more time on the Internet more than the ones closer to them. Even business meetings are already done online

Forney: Filipino Women as sex objects in Asian Ghetto, Ansabeh??

I was trying to search Filipino characteristics and ended up on a blog describing Filipino women as sex objects and other more insulting comments coming from this God-looking guy. I was like.. What the Fuck? SMH.

captured from my camera from Matt Forney's blog.
captured from my camera from Matt Forney’s blog.

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Filipino women are a blend of Spanish, Japanese and Chinese. They are claimed by the western men to be the best Asian women because of their Oriental and Spanish blood. They cook amazing dishes and can speak very good English. Foreign men marrying a Filipina would always have money issues with the families because of their sharing culture. They were raised to be compassionate and selfless.

Filipino culture even though we are still on the process of developing our laid-back characteristics makes our women easier to fall to among other women. First it’s not only that Filipino Women are naturally caring and passionate about their families but also possesses natural attractiveness that makes them more magnetic to men who are exhausted of women being obsessed with all the gender equality issues and motions, riding carousel horses.

Women all over the world possesses remarkable qualities like intelligence, independence, empowerment or in short the ‘modern woman’ climbing the corporate ladder. Most men prefer to settle with women who value families and motherhood. Filipinos can make great wives as I have met lots of Foreign who are happily married to their Filipino wives. They say Filipinos can create happy homes as western men adore them by their natural attractiveness, fertility, sharing and caring qualities. They gentle-spoken and try to be by no means of dispute just to avoid having arguments in public because it’s not very lady like. Filipino women were taught at home and at school with proper manners and right conduct that’s why they are very polite and kind. Values for Filipinos are very important. 

Filipino women give until they have nothing left for themselves especially when it’s for the sake of their families. Even though every women strive to live the women’s dream of independence in the Philippines, Filipino women look for every ways to help families get out of the chaotic life. Filipino women are not greedy and still keep this laid-back Filipina characteristics inside them like being on-hand taking care of the family and letting the males be the male as they need to be. Filipino women will do anything for their children even if it means working abroad cleaning toilets or taking care of strangers living in a more fortunate country.

Most Filipina women can easily fall to men who are passionate, sincere, caring, and dependable despite of the age gaps. Filipino women fall to caucasians because they make them feel beautiful and they give them new definition of love, they take care of them, they help them get up, they bring them positive hopes in life and treat them as a woman. In return, they do their best to be the best wives, they thank and love them, serve them with all their heart. Who wouldn’t fall to a man lifted you up like you are a precious gem that was placed in the mud? It’s not easy to teach the heart. Some people just couldn’t help but to judge every couple who have big age differences together. Wake up, there are prostitutes and gold-diggers everywhere. It’s very mediocre to think that some people actually believed they are better just because they are living in a society with full of hypocrisy. Society that set rules and limit them to do what other people are not scared to do.

We are different but we are not better. Above all, Filipino women just like any other women, they also also make decisions that a lot of people won’t understand. It’s the society who wants to understand everything in the world and scared of the things that they don’t understand.

And I’m a Filipina, I’m proud to be one of THEM.