The number of people in your life, if you think of it, your office mates, workmates, friends, family, boyfriend, classmates, so many! Plus those people you meet along the way is the number of the persons who will be needing something from you. Everyone’s born to be naturally needy for something.
Unfortunately, when a person asks me a favor, I can’t say no. I have a huge problem when people ask me to do something for them because most likely I will say yes because I’m good at compromising to make things more convenient to them but then I realized how much time and effort I’ve been wasting and how many people and jobs I’ve been losing and how shitty I’ve turned my reputation into and the worst, I wasn’t considered helping at all.
Every year, there’s this big event on the beach, originally me and my girlfriends promised last year that this year’s event, we won’t accept any jobs but as soon as the month started approaching, suddenly I found myself committed to a job I promised I will never do again. So I started a dillema on how I’m gonna spend my time with my job and at the same time with my friends? I wanted to be with them without any call times to meet the next day, so it was such a stress. I did the job for 3 days and for the last day I felt jealous seeing my friends around free while I there I was, working for a job I knew was too much for me. I was missing the most important parts of my vacation, breaking my promises, and friends ended up compromising for me. I was sensitive and can erupt anytime while at work. I asked my bestfriend if she thinks it’s alright to quit, so we can spend time together , she said, “then QUIT”. Never in my wildest dream I have thought of putting people into situations like that, but then I realized I’ve been neglecting the more important people in my life because of overthinking things and being kind all the time. I’m supposed to be spending quality time with her and keep my promises. I have to set my priorities straight. Who’s more important, which is more important? It was tough to quit my job for that day since my agent was just in front trying to convince me to do it for the last time for him. But I didn’t want to, I can’t. I knew if I said yes, I would end up regretting the whole night but eventually I did say “NO, I’m Sorry, I can’t” and to be honest, I’ve never felt so good. I didn’t expect saying NO can actually give me that kind of high. Finally, my chest got lighter, I was happy with my choice.
Being unable to tell what you really feel and depend answers according to what’s better for other people, some thought it’s very kind but what happens after, people think it’s irresponsible as I wasn’t always able to fulfill my obligations for all those people I promised to do things with.
Either way I cannot please everyone you see? There are so much people I meet who will need something from me, in the end, I can only perform half well. Those years of sacrificing my happiness and adjusting for people worth nothing since no matter how much effort I will put into things, not everyone will be satisfied.— I have my wants, my needs, they have theirs. It’s either I’ll choose to compromise my own for them or to be selfish.
Now, I’m writing this because I always find myself being caught in the feeling of doing things against my will, always out of considerations, in return, my body and mind gets affected because I no longer have time to feed my own soul. I know that I’m not the only one who have problems like this, so maybe in sharing my experience I am able to help. I’ll give you an idea what’s going to happen every time you say yes because you consider everything too much.
First, You will end up being abused by people and they will treat you like their puppy.
And you will end up regretting why you even said yes to such shitty job or anything you know you’re not supposed to be part of.
Aside from that, they are confident to give you anything unspecial since they know you’re not picky and you’re okay with whatever.
You will get busy doing favors for them until you lose time to do the things that can bring you closer to your dreams.
Eventually you will drain your mind and energy and unable to feed your soul and as a result, you are unable to perform you duties and obligations well. Sometimes instead of gaining something, you lose your job but also their trust.
Your relationship with more important people will get affected since you committed most of your time pleasing everyone and yes, after finishing the task, you’re still gonna have to worry about pleasing yourself wether you liked your choices.
You will become unreliable as you will fail to attend some events on time or not being able to attend at all because of schedule conflicts.
You won’t gain respect, instead you lose it since you’re always okay with whatever task those suckers will give you.
Your dreams will falter while you grow theirs.
Most importantly, you lose yourself.
There’s only one person you need to please, and it’s you. Whatever you do, it won’t matter if anyone like or hate it as long as you are happy with it and you do it for yourself. You cannot please everyone, but to please yourself, that’s more possible. If you lose everything, who will care? Do they? The truth is, they can only worry for you but they won’t care, they won’t do anything about it. In fact, those people who truly love and care about you will love you more when you started looking after yourself before anyone around you.
Be honest with your feelings, no one would ever hate people who tells the truth, if they would, you still gain respect from telling the truth.
So when someone asked me to do something for them again, I’d take a deep breath, feel my heart if it’s fully fine with it, when I have a doubt inside and I feel heavy in my chest. Just turn down the offer and be honest. In that way, I will do only what I’m willing to do,and feel more passionate about it, and only the right people will stay.
Goodluck on yours, I hope I helped. Feel free to follow my instagram blog @jillybully and leave you feedback on this topic, also suggest me any topic.