An unsent letter to a stranger.

We were lying close together on the floor beside the water. We raised our beer bottles as we celebrated our life and love. You talked about the future. We talked about having a family, about having small number of children and where we are going to raise them. You even said we are going to marry twice that I actually thought you were kidding. One my way and one your way. We are going to build our home in a place with a nice garden where we can have bbq, lunch and dinners together with our children. It was a tickle to the soul. All I did is smile at you. You were certain it is me and you. Stars aligned for me that night.

I have a heavy feeling in my chest. I felt it every day. You’ve changed…like I don’t know you anymore. Your rythmn, your mind, your heart and your soul.

I don’t know you anymore.

Is it me or it is you who have actually changed?Maybe it’s just because I started to care more about what you think and how you feel?

Is it my own ghost haunting me?

We’ve drifted apart.

You have awaken my insecurities. I used to know how you feel, what you were thinking, what you’d do. Now you’re just a stranger that’s squeezing my heart.

Do you still love me?

As I looked at myself in front of the mirror, I see a lonely reflection. This is where distance brought us. My heart hurts and my soul is slowly dying. Our love turned into poison, killing both of us slowly. I don’t know, maybe it’s only me. I am lost. I don’t know where else to go.

You have been my home but now I can no longer come to you.


Do Long Distance Relationships Work?

        Since many of LDR cases are unsuccessful, many people become pessimistic about it. I want to share my thoughts regarding LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS because no one can predict the future but we can make decisions base on  the informations we have right now. The moment you click this topic is the moment you doubted your relationship and since you’re already here, I would like to share you the reality, good or bad about about having a Long Distance Relationship.

photo grabbed from @topthatpose
photo grabbed from @topthatpose

Let’s start with Paolo Coelho’s quote:

   “I’ve learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you’re with me, even when you’re not by my side.”

-you have to get used to it, you must show your there with your partner wether you’re together or far away, you have to exchange positive outlook about the relationship. If Long Distance Relationships during the old era made possible by letters, then how couldn’t it be possible with this modern era, where both can exchange messages just seconds away? I know being together is still different but both needs to communicate as much as you can. That way, you might not be together but you can both feel each other’s presence.

-next thing you do is to deal with your doubts. Do you trust your yourself and your partner? Everyone is capable of cheating. We are humans, we have feelings and sexual urges.  If couples who are together managed to have extra affairs, so is LDR’s. And it is important to be transparent on everything you do, wether you are out with your friends, tell your partner you’re out with your friends, call or send a snap when you’re already home. In order to avoid the things from happening, you must set goals like meet few times in half a year depends on how you fix this with your partner. It’s good when you have something to look forward to that can hold you back yourselves from doing something stupid. 

  • Set a future plan, you don’t have to be accurate but at least show that the relationship is heading somewhere.When can you live together finally, how long does it take? In 3 years?,4?5? It make things difficult and blurry when there’s no plan set. No one wants to wait in vain.

I will share you another Paolo Coelho’s quote:

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.” 

If you have already started having an affair and started acting weird, and you know you’re gonna do it again, it’s tough but you have to tell he truth unless you want to lie from further damage to another until you’ve reach the point that both can’t even look at your shadows anymore. If you don’t want to lose each other, keep what you still have left, respect. 

-Give sometime to heal, develop a good friendship, and keep the communication with both. One day, if things are better, mature and different and when both haven’t found what you’re looking for wherever you are around the globe and realised that you have actually been with the right person in un-perfect time, then it’s still possible to renew what you have left then take it back, in a way you’re no longer just lovers but also friends.  And even if you won’t be together, you still have respect for each other as friends.

That’s how Long Distance Relationship works. If you’re asking me if it works, I can’t tell you that.